March 20th, 2014

Fraudulent Habitry

In 2011, I included a note here about Kevin Trudeau, who published a book in 2005 called Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You to Know About.* According to Wikipedia, the book was criticized for containing “no natural cures.”

Trudeau is in the news again after being sentenced to 10 years in prison for false claims in another book, The Weight Loss Cure “They” Don’t Want You To Know About.

The book, which claims a “diet-free” method to losing weight, actually outlines a 500-calorie-a-day diet. That’s like eating only one plain bagel with cream cheese per day, and then crying out the extra 50 calories because you’re still so hungry. The sentencing is shocking news for charlatans everywhere.

(*Important note: “They” = Federal Trade Commission. Obviously.)

March 5th, 2014

My favorite thing about this cozy winter sweater is the previous owner’s name stitched in its collar. Where’d you go, Frank? I think about you a lot.

February 6th, 2014

One should not assume when buying used records that the cover will correspond with what’s inside. In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby.

January 31st, 2014

Recent Acquisition

Who needs a smartphone when you have a wrist compass, like me?

Next time someone on the street asks me for directions, I’ll be very precise.

"So, you walk southeast, about 140 degrees, maybe 150, for twenty minutes. When you get to the street vendor with all the snakes, go south past three Starbucks, and then look up at the sky. If you see Polaris, it’s really late and you’re probably lost." 

January 22nd, 2014

Oh, good. The copywriters at Alite Designs have employed the terms “sexy” and “hot” to describe this purple onesie sleeping bag with a butterfly embroidered on the chest.

January 14th, 2014

Meat Hygiene!

A few titles from the out-of-mainstream-circulation library I work from:

Sex Lives of Animals Without Backbones

10 Years Younger in 10 Hours


Meat Hygiene

MANWORKS: A Guide to Style

How to Stay Pretty and Trim

1,000,000 Random Digits

Make Your Own Horse Clothing

Designing Your FACE


January 13th, 2014

I was looking for “having the flu,” but this is a great list to stare at when you have a 103-degree fever. 

December 13th, 2013

This is a ludicrously big box for such a small item. Perhaps they package their shipments based on how much you get swindled. 

"Women’s moisturizer? HA HA HA HA HA." 

December 11th, 2013

A suggested holiday gift for “kids” from New York Magazine this year is this 14-karat gold-plated Slinky. 

"Now, Charles, this is an investment, not a plaything." 

"Honestly, Gloria, if my kids don’t stop touching their toys, I’m going to kill myself."


December 1st, 2013
I’d like to think someone will put a photo of one of their relatives in this frame.

I’d like to think someone will put a photo of one of their relatives in this frame.